The Hidden Cost of Happy Hour: 6 Midlife Drinking Red Flags Every Woman Should Know

Women. Alcohol. Midlife.

What could go wrong?

At first glance, nothing seems too crazy. So, you’re kicking back and relaxing with a little more alcohol than you used to. No biggie. You deserve it. The kids are gone. You have some extra time on your hands. Why not let loose a little more often?

The only problem? Letting loose is killing us.

A study led by Dr. Ibraheem Karaye highlights the narrowing gender gap when it comes to binge drinking and alcohol-related deaths. Not exactly the kind of gender gap we’re trying to close.

The most surprising part? Midlife women are now the fastest-growing segment of binge drinkers.

More specifically: women in midlife who are thriving on the outside. The ones with high incomes, prestigious careers, advanced degrees—and a fridge full of organic produce. These are the women doing yoga, running 10Ks, tracking their steps, buying designer collagen peptides, keeping up with their mammograms… and drinking more than ever before.

So, Why Are We Drinking So Much?

In a word: stress.

The pressure of trying to keep it all together. The transitions that hit hard in midlife: empty nests, divorce, career upheaval, aging parents. And all the feelings that come with them—grief, boredom, loneliness, rage, existential unease.

Alcohol has been sold to us as the perfect cure. Not just acceptable—aspirational. A glass of wine is self-care. A weekend bender is “Mommy’s reward.” It’s become the socially sanctioned way to soothe, celebrate, and survive.

But here’s the problem: you’re trying to feel better, get stronger, sleep more deeply, and finally prioritize yourself—and alcohol is quietly undoing all of that. It disrupts your sleep cycle, spikes your cortisol, slows your metabolism, and robs your body of essential nutrients.

If you’re hitting the gym but still hitting the wine bottle, you’re basically driving with the brakes on.

6 Midlife Drinking Red Flags to Watch For

Red Flag #1: Thinking Any Amount of Alcohol Is Safe

If you’ve been on the fence about exploring your relationship with alcohol, start here. In 2023, the World Health Organization declared that no amount of alcohol is safe for consumption.

Alcohol is classified as a Group 1 carcinogen—right alongside asbestos and tobacco. It’s tied to at least seven types of cancer, including breast cancer. If you’re doing everything else to stay healthy, this fact alone deserves your attention.

Red Flag #2: You’re Drinking to Cope

Or to take the edge off. If alcohol has become one of your go-to coping strategies, it’s time to add new tools to your emotional toolbox.

Drinking to cope is a one-way ticket to dependence. It numbs your senses, preventing you from processing the things you actually need to deal with.

And alcohol doesn’t just mute the hard feelings—it dulls your joy, too. If you’re struggling to feel happiness or connection like you used to, your nightly glass (or bottle) of wine may be playing a role.

Red Flag #3: Your Social Life Revolves Around Alcohol

This one creeps up slowly. And it can be hard to see—because the trees are so thick, you miss the forest entirely.

Alcohol is everywhere now: birthday parties, book clubs, sporting events, charity fundraisers. Look at your social calendar. Is it filled with boozy brunches, happy hours, dinner parties, or nights in with wine on the couch?

Try exploring other ways to connect. Host a dinner party with alcohol-free cocktails. Plan a sunrise hike. Redefine what it means to “catch up.” Stay curious.

Red Flag #4: “Me Time” = Wine Time

Has wine become your reward for time alone?

When my kids were with their dad, or I finally had a night off, I instinctively reached for a bottle. During my divorce, I drank more—and I drank alone. I thought I was soothing myself, but really, I was staying stuck.

Wine didn’t help me heal. It kept me from healing.

Red Flag #5: You’re Binge Drinking Without Knowing It

I used to think binge drinking was for college kids. Beer pong and vodka shots. But for women, binge drinking is defined as 4+ drinks in a single sitting.

That 12-ounce wine glass you fill to the brim? That’s not one drink—it’s almost three.

If your tolerance has crept up, it may be masking how much you’re drinking—and how much it’s affecting your body.

Red Flag #6: Your Workouts Feel Harder Than They Should

Alcohol affects everything: cardiovascular health, motivation, recovery time. It increases inflammation, slows muscle repair, and leaves you sore longer.

If you’re chalking up sluggish workouts or recurring injuries to “just getting older,” it might be time to consider whether alcohol is making your body feel older than it actually is.

So Now What?

If any of these red flags hit a little close to home, take a breath. This isn’t about shame. It’s about power.

Knowing the truth about alcohol gives you the chance to decide what kind of life you want to live—and how strong you want to feel in it.

If you’re curious about cutting back, experiment with a few alcohol-free weeks. Track how your workouts feel, how you sleep, how you show up in your relationships. You might be surprised by what comes back online when alcohol is off the table. —Krysty

Curious about what life can look like alcohol-free? I’m a sobriety coach, and I write about the messy middle of midlife and sober curiosity at krystykrywko.substack.com. Come hang out—or check out purpledogsober.com.